This entry is going to sound selfish. Basically because I’ve spent my non-anonymous life looking out for society in the last few weeks. So, the selfish part of things is ending up here.
Back on March 11, I was about 12 hours away from leaving on a road trip that was the first step in preparing for the next part of life. Then that evening, the NBA suspended the rest of its season. By the following morning, you could already tell that other shutdown dominoes were likely to fall before long. There was no point in going on the trip, because I need to see my target city with its normal everyday life to make the best decisions about my future.
I was expecting to reschedule everything for a couple months later. Not good, but things could’ve been a lot worse.
And then, well, the last 11 days hit us. The “a lot worse” part did happen, and just that fast.
Now the dynamics have changed. If this mess continues for many months (and I have optimistic reasons to think that maybe it won’t, but still)……then beginning a new life again will be much more problematic. Cause while I had timed my plans in just the needed way, there wasn’t a whole lot of wiggle room. Given when my lease runs out, that was largely out of my control.
It wouldn’t have probably mattered, though. Had it not been for the world shutting down.
Now, I don’t know what finding a new 9 to 5 job in the new city will be like, if I choose to go that route. It certainly will be a much worse world to get hired in for quite some time, especially for white collar work. Regardless of when corona has run its course.
And like many people, income and livelihood issues could come into play. Stuff I would’ve had under control, if it weren’t for these unprecedented times. I have my apartment through the end of April, and as that time nears, I’ll take some next steps based on how everything has progressed between now and then.
But until then, life is frozen. And for once, it’s not because of my own issues. Quite surreal.
Not sure which version of time freezing is worse. But neither is healthy for someone, and having to fight two versions of it at once is not fun.
Especially for a depressive loner.
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