I was just watching a flashback compilation of entertainment from the year 1983. A song by Rick Springfield that I hadn’t heard in awhile came on for a few seconds. “You better know it’s an affaaaair of the heart. Clap…..clap. It’s an affair of the heart”. Love that song. Decided to click on his discography to see how high it charted back then, which led to bumping into his wikipedia page. And finding something quite sad and troubling.
Springfield has pretty much had success his entire adult life. A minor hit album in the early ’70s when he was just starting out, then a regular TV actor for awhile when his music career fizzled temporarily, to becoming a pop superstar during the first half of the ’80s with a huge catalog of great music and big hits, and then back to acting (and even some successful musicals on Broadway).
But while his avenues for success kept changing over a period of many decades, there was one constant in his life: deep, suicidal depression. Which still remains.
When he was 17, he hanged himself (and only lived because the knot broke just in time). Then 50 years later (in 2017), he talked about how he was very close to ending his life again.
And as all of us who’ve dealt with lifetime adult depression know, those 50 years in between his deepest suicidal attempts and thoughts probably weren’t much better for him emotionally.
Here is a guy who always found a way to stay ahead (over a period of many decades, which is naturally so tough to do in show business). And was adored by countless fans. But when your mind is incapable of turning the corner and learning to enjoy life, even those things don’t help nearly enough.
This was a needed reminder for my own situation at the moment, though. I’ve talked so much about how I need to regain enough success to feel better about how I’ve handled life overall (or else I just can’t see myself ever turning any corners emotionally). But I can’t forget how having success didn’t help me achieve that emotional health when I was in my 20s, and it won’t be enough now either.
So if it’s not a well-rounded recovery, it probably won’t matter. I have to be sure to keep my eye on that ball. Achieve a happiness and healthy comfort level of life that balances more than just your career ups and downs.
Or even if I do get back on track, I’ll have the same demons at age 70 that Springfield still does today. And I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Mister A's domain 