At age 48, sometimes I think about what might be the main future issue from being a loner: when I’m older and have no family (or anyone else close in my life who lives closeby), it could be a nightmare dealing with being badly sick or hurt.
It’s not a comfortable thought. And it became unexpectedly front and center this week already.
Ended up in the ER on Sunday from a bad kidney stone blockage. Had to be admitted and have surgery to get it removed.
First, there’s the fact that no one lives with or right by you (to get you to the ER to begin with). I had to drive there myself and hope I could make it, because waiting awhile on an ambulance (or even longer before something could be figured out from mom’s house and her friends in the middle of the night) weren’t better options. Plus, I felt this wasn’t quite severe enough of a dire immediate problem to tax the emergency services type systems for that.
But what if it had been?
Then, there’s the typical assistance that it really helps to have during the hospital stay. Someone to get your overnight bag and bring you personal bathroom toiletries. And to step down the hall if no one is answering the call button in your hospital bed. My mother had gotten a ride down and was able to help with some of this once she got there. At her age she’s not moving very well, so she’s naturally limited.
But it still made a difference. And as I’ve brought up in past entries, she’s the only close family I have left. What about 20 years from now?
Then stuff like getting out of the hospital. I wasn’t allowed to drive back after I was discharged b/c it’d been too soon since my anesthesia, and mom couldn’t drive that far. We had to call her neighbors (half an hour away) to figure out a simple plan to get everyone home with the car.
I mean, who really wants to fool with getting an Uber or something for those situations as they’re kicking your fogged-mind ass out the door to free up your bed for the next patient? Obviously it’s the kinda thing where family or close friends usually quickly help out.
And finally, any after care. I didn’t really need that this time. But what if I did? Not to mention that those times will come eventually. It’s not like male bodies age gracefully in their golden years.
As you can imagine, all of this was a brutal reminder of the difficulties I could easily experience down the road. And I’m not sure what to do about it. Because it’s not like I want to change my preferred lifestyle permananetly just for this contingency.
So I don’t know if there will be a way around those issues once I hit my 60s and beyond. It’s yet another way that being a loner is not healthy for human beings. For any fellow loners, I feel you.
And for those with the typical life of support around them: never take it for granted.
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