With my future looking more uncertain than it ever has lately (and that’s saying something), I find myself shutting out the world even more than I normally do.
Outside of immediate family, the only person I’ve kept in regular touch with recently is the woman who I’ve known a long time and have the strong “opposites attract” connection with (and even that isn’t daily). Other than her, I just have no interest in talking with anyone right now. Especially any communication on a regular basis.
It’s led to just ghosting some people who I’m somewhat close to. With two of them, it’s also because they recently said something that really rubbed me the wrong way…..comments that I never would’ve expected from them. Normally I would either brush past it or confront them (and see if it can be worked out), but not while I’m in this frame of mind.
When anyone asks if I’m alright, I’ll eventually give them an ok. And then just hint that I want to be left alone. So that’s as far as it goes.
This has happened once before at a similar level, but then I snapped out of it pretty quick. That was much different though, because I was in my late 20s then. So despite that particular deeper depressive pit, I still subconsciously knew that there was plenty of time for possibly better years ahead.
But at this stage in life, that’s not the case anymore.
I still occasionally make quick, quirky comments on people’s FB pages and stuff like that. Both friends and strangers. Guess it’s the need for at least one outlet apart from my self-imposed solitary confinement. Though in keeping with my usual MO, it’s just surface musings about various topics.
Because it’ll always be just me looking on at the outside world.
And barely (well, now JUST barely) being a part of it.
Mister A's domain 