At the moment I just finished half of a new book (though it’s a story I already know by heart). While my own vices are very different from the main character in the story, my life path may end up the same. More on that later.
Not only is my life about halfway over at this point, but I’m also at the midway point/crossroads of the direction it will take. Only two forks upcoming in the road, and before long I’ll likely be destined toward one of those paths:
A life of purpose, or a downward spiral of permanent despair. And I can clearly see both of these opposite sides of the spectrum.
The purpose would come from new businesses and other possible opportunities, a permanent “home” for the first time, and other ways to make the most of the second half of my existence. In the place I was meant to be. Happiness that can only probably begin from living in that city for good.
Or, just giving in completely to the despair and hopelessness that the city I’ll call home can accommodate better than no other. Not having the willpower to get past the depression, the loneliness that I invite (rather than fight), or any of my other demons. A dark, tragic, premature ending similar to that book.
I know it sounds like I’m being overly dramatic, but this actually is my current situation. And the thing is (and true to my oddsmaking background)……I’d say the chances of both results are about 50/50. That makes things even more intriguing, too. Cause it’s a lot more interesting when the likely outcome is so unclear.
Then you have the current state of the world. Holding me (and most people) in limbo until society turns back to normal. That makes it seem even more surreal to be standing on the edge of this crossroads at the moment. Not being able to move yet.
But before long, it will be time for steps to be taken. My former (and new again) city will be where I decide my fate, one way or the other.
Anyone who has read a lot of my posts might be able to figure out where that city is. A much bigger hint is the book I just referred to, though given my background, you may not have needed it. That story was made into a well-known movie as well (generous hint #2).
I welcome anyone to stay tuned and see what happens. You’re going to see either a rebirth or a tragedy unfold.
And hopefully I will continue to document it all here.
Mister A's domain 