Late last night, my demons finally won out again for the first time in awhile. I had a very big setback and ate a huge loss. As usual, the kind of thing that there was absolutely no excuse for.
The bad news is that a lot of the large recent post-inheritance gains are now gone, which basically functioned as an unexpected early boost to my new-life work capital and as a nice cushion for starting life over again soon . And the chances of making that back anytime soon are very slim.
The good news is that I can still follow through with those life-changing plans and work for myself again, although now that situation just got more tenuous. The money that I expected to use for that is still there.
Also….as difficult as this latest huge setback and failure is to take, there’s a factor that makes it easier to stomach: I shouldn’t have even had so much extra already to begin with, because most was made by just getting lucky in the very short term. If I’d given up a lot of hard work where I “earned” it doing things the right way, that would be different. But that wasn’t what was going on lately. My market trading has been off in recent days, and I simply got lucky for awhile doing other stupid shit to make up for it.
Obviously that doesn’t excuse what happened last night, but it’s still how my mind sees the overall picture. And at the moment, I need to stay as positive as possible to keep from completely falling apart and ruining my future again.
So, where does that leave things going forward? First are foremost, STOP the latest downhill avalanche here. Especially since my career freedom is likely still at stake. Find some solace in how I’ve acquired a valuable sports card collection (which I don’t plan on selling much of regardless, but still). Take that collection, my inheritance, and the small gains from it that are still left, and prepare to move later this summer. FORGET what just happened. Or at least keep it from affecting future decisions.
Life would be so much easier if I wasn’t a wreck…..
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