For the past couple of weeks, I have been way south. Checking out the state that should be my next stop for maybe a couple of years, while I hope to iron out so much of life and get prepared for my final destination as soon as possible.
But this has not been easy.
Though I read many of the books that I’d gotten on trying to improve my willpower, diet, and other demons, I’m not in a spot to apply them until I’m settled in somewhere again. So in the meantime, I continue to make the same destructive mistakes.
Then there’s the job hunt. Not surprisingly, I don’t have too many close personal contacts. And in this covid world, that’s even more vital for finding something white collar. It’s hard enough to stay motivated as it is, much less when you look at a dime-a-dozen posting in your field on Linkedin (that’s only six days old), and see that over 100 people have already applied. With my limited 9 to 5 job work experience, there is no way I can compete with even 5 people per opening, much less over 100.
At this point, I simply don’t know how I will solve that employment dilemma.
So I sit here now as we speak, dreading the thought of going to see an old friend tomorrow for a few days, and having to act all normal ok social, yattada yattada. For everyone else who deals with constant depression, you know what THAT’S like. Especially when you’re in the midst of one of those times where your life issues are even more of an urgent problem than they normally are.
One of those times where you wish you could just hibernate until the world has totally changed. No matter how long it takes.
Or even if it never does.
Mister A's domain 